pay to byrsa

What poem takes place in the Carthaginian kingdom by the sea?

Hannibal Lee.

and what's the deal with pommel horses?

Why did the imperfect gymnast give up his professional career?

It was untenable.

knife in hell

What did Matt Groening call his show about surgeons in the 30th century?

Suturama.

otto rank and file

Why are hospitals in Western Australia so full?

The Trauma of Perth.

he saw tirane out the window, sitting on his yggdrasill

Who is the ancestor of all Albanian squirrels?

Ratatosk.

"oh, oh oh oh oh oh. that is sad." --my father

What kind of eggplant can you find all around the world?

A globergine.

berlin's meard!

What do Germans sing when they're waiting for their pickles to be ready?

Watch on the Brine.

purls before swine

What do you call a knitted automobile?

A cable car.

midterms have lain waste to my wordsmithy

Why do barbarians fear paradoxes that stop them from shooting their arrows at Athens effectively?

Because they're Zenophobic.

this joke is more tasteless than a dude with a cold

I want to release a card-based strategy game based on suicide. I'll call it Splat-O-Matic.

oh whoops i forgot to post yesterday my bad

What do you call Hungarian cockroaches?

Budapests.

did i spell that right?

Which basketball coach is the most high-strung?

Lute Olsen.

isLAMEy

Which Russian composer is the starchiest?

Mealy Balakirev.

i blame the lateness on daylight savings

What vow did the triplet competitive eaters take before facing off against their rivals?

The Oath of the Voracii.

warchan

What do you call it when /b/tards flood hapless forums with witty comments?

Drolling.

yeah this is terrible whatever

Sorry for the skipped day; I've been a bit sick recently. On that note:

Which disease is the most expensive to eradicate?

Dollara.

plato the line

Which pre-Socratic philosopher is the stupidest?

Heraclitus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.

pimento mori

Out of all the fruits and vegetables, which are the most diverse?

Sundry tomatoes.

duck and cover

What do ducks like to smoke?

Quacky tobacky.

this one's somewhat on the arcane side i guess?

What aria did Puccini write at Yankee Stadium?

"O mio bambino caro".

Thanks to Becca Corman for inspiration

What was Mandy Moore's best experience at a Chinese restaurant?

A Wok to Remember.

general tsober

What do you call it when you savagely eat your Chinese food?

Wonton destruction.

and he eats jacob barley

Where does Tiny Tim cram for exams?

In a Christmas carrel.

Lost and Foundry

What do Old West towns have in common with fonts?

The worst ones are sans sheriff.